Until last week I was unaware of the Daily Gossip section of the NME's website. It's mainly dedicated to what Amy Winehouse may or may not be up to, but at the end of each day's 'news' story there's also a mind-numbing digest of pop star sightings as reported by our glorious Red Tops.
The tabloids' endless fascination with racist thicko Jade Goody is just the most obvious proof that they have a disturbing definition of newsworthy but I was genuinely surprised to see that the following items warranted column inches.
The Ting Tings singer Katie White "hasn't cooked for months" (Daily Mirror).
Leona Lewis wore a selection of purple outfits on the set of her new video (The Sun).
Adele swigged pints of beer and wine at the Mercury Prize ceremony (Daily Star).
Alicia Keys asked for ketchup with her fries at the Marriott Courtyard, New York (Daily Mirror).
If your brain has not melted and you really want more of this nonsense, I've just noticed that the NME has another section called Tabloid Hell. Reading it might make you stupid.